Stop being boring

This week, I felt pretty depressed and lost my motivation and focus. After launching Space4, I got some signups from HackerNews, but no one was really using the app. Including myself.

“Will people even use this? Am I doing the wrong thing again?”, I wondered.

It sucks. This is not unfamiliar to me because I have failed many projects before. This time is a bit different. I knew the problem was valid since many people have trouble staying focused. There are many successful focus apps in the market to prove that. During the prototyping, I also researched and asked friends for fresh perspectives. Furthermore, I tried to innovate by combining the app with ambiance sounds and an online community. Most importantly, the app got more tractions than all the previous projects.

I seem to do a better job this time. However, I don’t feel right.

After asking for help from Indie Hackers and friends, I know what improvements I can make. Simplifying the landing page, a goal-setting feature, improving UX…etc.

I also know that I shouldn’t dismiss the idea easily because it doesn’t work at first. And I believe success usually comes after perseverance and not giving up.

But deep down in my heart, I have this scary feeling that I am no longer passionate about coding and building stuff. I feel bored, uninspired, and unmotivated. I am lost.

II did sleep well, eat well, and exercise regularly. I don’t have a problem physiologically. I am generally happy and optimistic, so I am psychologically healthy.

So what went wrong? My gut feeling is that I am boring.

I lost my creativity and the sense of wonder I used to have in childhood. I am no longer curious because I am settled for the world as it is. I accept things the way they are instead of imagining how they could be.

I follow trends to avoid being wrong. I play safe instead of being adventurous. I am afraid of failure – fear of being judged, fear of getting started, and fear of the unknown.

I am kinda sick of this. I need to make a change. I need to think differently and have my own opinions. I need to pick a fight and stop trying to please everybody. I need to unleash the child within.

Most of all, I need to stop being boring.

April 6, 2022
raw thoughts

Stay in touch
To get a notice when I write a new post, you can subscribe below. I don't update often, and don't spam ever. You can also say hi to me on Twitter.
Made by Patrick Zhong